Office Jokes
I can't come in to work
today because I'll be
stalking my previous boss,
who fired me for not
showing up for work. OK?
When I got up this
morning, I took two Ex-lax
in addition to my Prozac. I
can't get off the john, but I
feel good about it.
I can't come to work today
because the EPA has
determined that my house
is completely surrounded by
wetlands and I have to
arrange for helicopter
transportation.
If it is all the same to you I
won't be coming in to work.
The voices told me to clean
all the guns today.
I have a rare case of
48-hour projectile leprosy,
but I know we have that
deadline to meet....
Constipation has made me
a walking time bomb.
I just found out that I was
switched at birth. Legally, I
shouldn't come to work,
knowing my employee
records may now contain
false information.
The psychiatrist said it was
an excellent session. He
even gave me this jaw
restraint so I won't bite
things when I am startled.
The dog ate my car keys.
We're going to hitchhike to
the vet.
I prefer to remain an
enigma.
I set half the clocks in my
house ahead an hour and
the other half back an hour
Saturday and spent 18
hours in some kind of
space-time continuum loop,
reliving Sunday (right up
until the explosion). I was
able to exit the loop only
by reversing the polarity of
the power source exactly
elog (pi) on all the clocks in
the house while
simultaneously rapping my
dog on the snout with a
rolled up Times.
Accordingly, I will be in late,
or early.
Visit My Links Page
Visit My Jokes From Friends Page
Visit My Cover Page
Visit My Blonde Jokes